Did anyone get the liscence plate number of the wagon that hit me?

Today I was guilt-ed into working out. Not by my helliptical, or by Bob Barker, but by my wife. However, In her defense I really should give you some back story.

Yesterday was not a good day for me health wise. Our friend Johnnys' parents are in town and it was his fathers birthday! He wanted to have a picnic at the Mill Pond in Stonybrook. HE also wanted to have PIZZA at this picnic. HE was just waving it around in the face of a recovering Pizzahaulic! To say I fell of the wagon would be an understatement!

Breakfast: 2 bowls of Flax Raisin Bran w/ Rice Milk
Not bad on its own but I didn't need 2 bowls and my wife said I should have had none and instead had a glass of carrot juice!

Lunch: 1 slice of Grandmas Pizza, 1 slice of Ziti Pizza and the slice of Regular Pizza my son didn't finish
Now in my defense...I have none.

After Pizza Dessert!: 1 scoop of Hazelnut Ice Cream on a Sugar Cone
...because it was there! Don't judge me!

For dinner I wanted to make a smarter choice and so I went to Subway and had a Veggie Sandwich! Well, I wanted to but it was closed. So...

Dinner: 1 Regular Slice of Pizza, 1 Slice of Grandmas Pizza, 1 Slice of Eggplant Pizza (it had veggies!)

I am ashamed to say the debaucherous night of culinary consumption did not end there.

Birthday Cake: 1 Piece of Angel Food Cake with Cream and Strawberries...and then another!

To top the evening off (as if  that wasn't enough) I didn't go to bed until 3am. To which my wife so kindly said, "What are you doing? It's 3 o'clock in the morning. Are you an idiot?" Which in her defense, is the appropriate question following the days events.

So there goes my morning workout...or so I thought...

Today I woke to my morning alarm baby going off at 7:30 and peeled my burning eyes open. I got him changed and set up with a video and as I leave his room, I see my wife, dressed and heading into the office to get some work done. WHAT!!! Why today? Why couldn't she have felt better on another day? Today I just want to throw up and go back to bed. But I can't let on that I want to puke and sleep. I have to play like I'm ready to attack the day as well or I'll be going to bed at 8:00 like my kids for the next week. I could just keep walking and say nothing, pretending to go in the room to get dressed. Then when she is at her desk I could sink back into the feathers and the cotton and sleep.

She turns to walk into the office...my plan almost complete...when she looks over here shoulder and says, "You're going to work out this morning! Right?"

Guilt. She used it. It was very motivating. That was the wagon I fell off, throwing it in reverse and backing up to finish me off.  One day woman! One day! I will be avenged... but for now I'm just tired and I need to take a shower.

-chasing down that wagon-
Dan

Backwards Compatibility

Sometimes I feel as if I'm working off today what I ate yesterday. It's like this.  As I tally the caloric intake of the days food consumption, I realize the math doesn't add up. My helliptical tells me I've burned off 540 calories. Great! My food packages tell me I've eaten roughly 2,000 to 30,000 calories...sooo, if I workout for the next 3 mornings...plus what I did this morning, I should be able to work off what I ate...4 days ago! 

My workouts don't feel backwards compatible. I want to eat all the Pizza I want in a day and get up the next morning and flail for 30 minutes and have burned off the weight from the day before... and today! Is that so unreasonable? (I just realized I capitalized the word Pizza. I think that is out of some subconscious respect I have for that food group!)

I know my wife will be reading this later so I won't go into too much detail, but (I love you honey) I think that self control is going to have to come into the mix at some point here if I'm going to get my scale to stop backing away from me when I come near it to weigh myself. It means well. It just got out of its cast, from the last time I weighed myself.

I need to let yesterday be yesterday, and not feel bad about what I ate. But, to lose the pounds, I also need to eat the right foods today, to make it so I don't have to worry tomorrow. This way my workouts will help me with today's ability to feel good about my health.

249 pounds. But I don't feel as if I've earned it. Drinking water for 4 days straight cleans a man out...but it is progress. I'll feel good about it when I hit 245. Its a small milestone, but I'll know it's not just a weight swing.

-I would gladly work out Tuesday for a hamburger today-
Dan

Finishing Well

Finishing well seems to be the hardest part.

Like yesterday; I woke up at 7...am...to my 2 year old screaming, "DAD...DADDY...D@RBU4GRYY!" Which is typical when he wakes up and wants his mandatory milk and a movie. So I peeled myself from my feather soft cocoon and changed, liquefied and cinematized my still rhythmically chanting son. DAD...DAD...DADDY...DAD!

I found myself standing in my hallway with a Bob Barker moment in my face. Behind door #1 was a 2 hour cruise to the Hawaiian isle of "Wanna-sleep-some-mori" aboard the S.S. Pillow. And door #2... A 30 minute ride to hell on the Metal Machine of Doom.

"Well Dan, which door do you choose?" Satan... I mean Bob asked. I looked out through the studio lights to the riotous crowd, feverishly shouting and making number gestures with there hands And there, in the stands, was my wife. Calmly she raised her hand. And then, like Cesar determining a gladiators fate in the Colosseum, her fingers rose...

All this was very traumatic for me seeing as i was still naked.

So i got dressed. Hopped on the helliptical, and flailed my way to a thinner me. Yes, thank you, I choose door #2. However, I know that if I stopped here, thousands of you would write in with all sorts of praise and acclaim, and you would never know the dark underbelly of what I will heretofore call, "last night!"

"Last night" was fight night. UFC 102 to be exact, (Google it) and I was hosting. I did all the good stuff to make sure I ate well. Carrots, assorted colors of peppers, cucumbers, water, safe rice crackers. I was armed to the teeth, literally, with things that would keep me from cheating.

I think at this point I should just tell you. Huhhhhh. ok.

6 Chips-ahoy cookies
5 Pieces of Julians hot homemade bread...with imported cheese
4 Slivers of green, red or yellow peppers
3 Different types of chips
2 Glasses of iced tea
1 Glass of Dr. Pepper

...and a partridge in a pear tree...

So. Don't hate me. I believe I have course corrected and back on track for today. Well, my eyes are bloodshot and its time to head out to church.

-ready...with a headache-
Dan

Origins of a fat boy

Three years ago, I weighed 275 pounds. That was the same weight my dad was when he had a heart attack and double bypass surgery. Now granted, he was in his early fifties and nowhere near as handsome as I am, but something clicked in my head and I just stopped eating the crap. I found the...stuff...within me to get up every morning between 6 and 7, hop on my elliptical machine and run. Head back, eyes closed, ipod blaring. My wife would laugh at me as I sang. (I couldn't hear the pitch and I knew so few of the right words.) First 30 minutes. Then 45. Then an hour. I would lift weights also. Two 20 pound dumbbells. And I felt great. I lost 60 pounds in 3 months. From 275 to 218 in 3 months and then it happened. I know what you're thinking and, no, I didn't pull a hamstring or throw my back out.

Rebecca got pregnant!

And of course anything she saw on television she had to eat. Friendly's, Houlahans, Dunkin Donuts, Jiffy Lube. It didn't matter...I was going to get it and usually at 11 o'clock at night. Of coarse, I couldn't go and get her one without getting myself one...or four...teen. Alas, back came the weight.

Now I find myself in a very different mindset. I am older, wiser and a whole lot harder to motivate. As I type this blog I can hear the laughter from my elliptical. (or as I affectionately call it "hell-iptical") It's not loud. It doesn't have to be...it's sitting right behind me...mocking. Hurling doughnuts at me. Daring me, and I have to admit, I'm a little scared. I had tamed it before but I don't know that i can do it again.

But I know it is the key to the whole thing. I need to get active. I need to flail that machine into rhythmic submission and drown out its taunting laughter with every drop of sweat I have in me. Ha! Take that machine. Take that.

I must sleep now and pray to the gods whoop ass that they come and drag me from my bed, point their muscle bound fingers at the machine of pain and say, "Pedal fat boy! Pedal!"

-still a little scared to turn around-
Dan

Day 2

well, i decided to wait until the evening to actually post so as to tell you of the days events. day one on the weight loss front was great. no real cheats. i think i had 2 slices of swiss cheese, but other than that i did ok. today on the other hand wasnt as easy. every time i openned the fridge, all the food i had preveiously purchased was calling to me with this seductive voice. Motzarella sticks, fetachini alfredo, hunks of cheese. i think you can see what my downfall is. but i was good, not great, but good.

i think i will check my weight tomorrow morning and keep you up to date with that. Ok. enough for tonight, this is getting boring.

Still jumping,
dan

p.s. if you should be wondering what the lables on the sidebar mean...

Paid the $10.50 = went to see the movie in the theater
Redboxed it = didn't want to pay more than a dollar a night to rent the sucker
In the Bathroom = i usually read on the toilet so... its what im currently reading.
On the Shelf = finished the book

See you tomorrow

In the beginning

Yes, I will have to admit that seeing the movie Julie & Julia has finally brought me to the place where i would like to start a blog. Ironically I've been having these conversations in my head and thinking, "I need to write this stuff down." So here it is... I'm writing this because i am a man on the edges. Not just one edge, but many...edges! On the edge of being more responsible...the edge of losing weight...the edge of being a better dad, better husband, better follower of Jesus. And the time has come to jump. It's not a midlife crisis. I still have a few years before that comes, but before that time comes i want to have made some changes (or at least some better decisions) in my life. So these are the things i am going to keep you up to date with...

1. My Walk
2. My Weight
3. My Wife
4. My Children (i tried, but i couldn't think of a "w" word for it. sorry.)

and not all in that order!

I currently weigh 253 pounds and I eat without self control. I mean, I do have some self control...I don't eat stuff i don't like. but that's about it. So my goal is to be under 200 and tone. Not ripped, just tone. i have lost weight before, and with your help, i can do it again.

So, starting today I am going to LOSE THE WEIGHT.  I don't want to be this way any longer. I want to lose this weight. For me. For my wife. For my kids. And...for you...my fans! j/k

Well, I will see you tomorrow with the reports of todays success and failure. And until then, look out below, Dan is jumping.